we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
