Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
