For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
