Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize