My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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