I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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