Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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