There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
