Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
