i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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