Kiss
Puke
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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