so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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