People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
