The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
