We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize