doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
