Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
