last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
