tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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