i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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