Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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