at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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