That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
