I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
