covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
