You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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