I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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