whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
