Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
ttyl tear gas
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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