period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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