so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
