the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
