i just google imaged poop.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
