sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How external is "for external use only"?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
