im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
