HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize