Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
