SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
