dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize