Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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