Your face is a jimmy john
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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