Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
