what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
