We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
