So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
