discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
