you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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