I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
