i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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