Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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