how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
