He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
you never un-have a 4some
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
