The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
