I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
