When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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