the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
