walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
