If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
tell me about the fingering
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