I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize