As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
