Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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