i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
